So i'm like bored right now becuase i'm supposed to doin my research paper but i cant find my index cards so i'm kinda screwed on that.   Kinda noticed that i haven't posted since september of last year and i dont even remember doin that...so and all...Karen who was my bestfriend transferred to a new school just to be with that fag she calls a boyfriend....who transfers to a new school and not tells their friend? ...the crappy part is...i had to find out the next day from everyone else....she didn't even fucking call me or email me to say anything...she was a real friend wasnt she! How the fuck could she transfer during our senior year?.....friends dont do that to friends and especially not for a guy...thatz really fucked up!  itz been a few weeks since she transferred and she still hasnt called me or emailed me!...i've been holdin all this in since she left and it feels really fucking shitty to admit that i'm sad she left!...it wasnt cool to just up and leave without telling me a damn thing! I was so fucked up over her leavin that i went home the day they told me about it...i didnt want to even be at school anymore. and guess what...the three musketeers are no more and never will be either! I wonder did she even think about how jessica and i would feel after she went to be with that fag. she probably didnt even care! I would've never even thought about doin such a thing to her and jessica!.....I guess i kno who my real friends are...laterz!

This is R.J. signing out!

School's out thank the mother of all small things and I'm glad. I don't think I could've spent another day at Carver. I have a major dilemma....I like two different guys. I like one guy cuz he's just like me except he doesn't have a vagina and the other guy is everything I'm not. Does that make sense? Something's wrong cuz I can't decide and this has never happened before and it freaks me out. I'm so confused that it isn't even funny. I don't know what to do. who do I want to be with...Kenny or nick? I can usually make a decision like this but I can't right now and it irks me. Sweet mother am I confused..my homies can't even help me and that's never happened before. What's wrong with me? This isn't like me at all. Why can't I decide? Is it the fact that I don't like being tied down to one person? Man, I sound like a guy right now. The only guy I've ever been committed to was Anthony and he's more fucked up than I am so I can't go to him for advice. What's wrong with me...I've made harder decisions than this before. This isn't normal for me. I want Kenny but I want Nick too. I can't have both...can I? This is confusing on so many levels, I need help. If anyone has any suggestions...it would greatly appreciated.

This is R.J. signing off.